vicemage

• 10:24 There is a little girl running around the store in a lion costume. It's very cute! #
• 17:01 @SarahKnopp Didn't know you didn't know. Wondering what's happening with the show, I watched it occasionally for fun. #
• 18:02 Son of a bitch... I TRY to exercize, and I end up with a busted ankle. Here's hoping it's just a sprain, it kind of crunched when I landed. #
• 18:29 I may be heading for urgent care/minute clinic fairly soon here... #
• 19:24 And off i go to urgent care for an x-ray of my ankle. Good times. #
• 20:32 So not broken, at least, just sprained, got a note for work restrictions and instructions to do RICE therapy. Yay! #
• 21:46 @Sashay_Kitty I said no to extra money today since I didn't want to drive in traffic. Retrospect, if I had, I'd probably have two good feet. #
• 21:49 @Sashay_Kitty It's all iced and wrapped right now... not sure how to shower though, and I have paint in my hair! :D #
• 22:24 @SarahKnopp Thanks. ^^ And I've got two days of work then two days off to rest up, so that'll help... #
• 22:56 My kitty is being a little doting nursemaid. Even charged the shower curtain so he could keep an eye on me. Silly kitty. #

• 17:00 @queendork56 Tell me about it... >.< #
• 17:01 Wow. This HD weather report looks damn good. I could be persuaded to get HD service next time I move after all. #
• 19:50 @MossFox Good luck, I'd buy one if I weren't equally as broke... >.< #

• 09:35 New page 10 is started, is going much better than the old, abandoned version did. I may break this block yet. #
• 10:52 @lordofpirates Yep, that's the one. And the problem was more my approach than anything. I changed it entirely and it's going much better. #
• 10:53 @lordofpirates It's actually roughly half done now, pencil-wise. Last version is less finished and was taking way longer. #
• 22:37 @MYVBXRS Welcome home! #

• 13:43 There seems to be a contest code under the cap of my booze... never win but I'm still compelled to go enter it. #
• 15:07 it's HOT. Why is it so HOT? #
• 15:22 @combatc122 I mean inside, the AC is on and yet I'm sweating just sitting at my desk. #
• 15:23 Why is it HOT? Because the AC is set to 85 during the day and I don't know how to adjust it... *turns on the fan and sweats* #
• 15:24 @Sashay_Kitty I'm wearing a tank top and capris and sweating like crazy. I wish I was wearing a sweater! #
• 19:04 Damn. Out of shape. I think I'll make it a goal to fit into the too-small shorts I found while it's still shorts weather. #
• 21:07 Well, Fuck. That is all. #

• 15:53 @Rokuchan That's just what kitties do. They make things difficult. It's their primary skill. #
• 16:44 @SarahKnopp The real question is, who's number three? These things always come in threes. #
• 16:58 @SarahKnopp Very true... whoever number 3 is will probably be a surprise, too, and in the next 24-36 hours. #
• 17:01 @Sockitumee Rushed to hospital, still a new story, possible heart attack: bit.ly/fmAxP #
• 17:24 @queendork56 Good point, I can't believe I forgot about Ed, especially since he's the only one of the three I give a damn about... D: #
• 17:42 @MYVBXRS There's conflicting reports; one report said "dead," most are saying "coma" now. #
• 17:43 @MYVBXRS Correction, now multiple sources are saying reported dead but not confirmed by some. #
• 18:05 Having my first ever candy (not caramel) apple... yummy. #
• 18:24 @Trunks378 Yes, Michael Jackson is indeed dead, family confirmation hasn't come yet but more sources are saying it now. #
• 18:38 @Arenlor Never found one for sale before when I was also inclined to buy one, that's all. Delicious, but a little hard to eat. #
• 18:46 @Trunks378 I feel so sorry for you, Trunks, hope that stops. I took it as "celebrity news" and moved on to baking bread. #
• 19:19 @MYVBXRS I don't see one on the map, sorry. #
• 19:22 @MYVBXRS Apparently it "never made it past planning," but isn't ruled out entirely as a future pavillion, either. #
• 19:49 @MYVBXRS Go do something fun! #
• 20:48 @Arenlor I don't think I have, no. I've had some hard puddings, but of the dessert variety. #
• 20:56 @Arenlor Oh God. #
• 22:50 It's too hot to be night. Why is it so hot at night? I'm going to sleep poorly again tonight, I just know it. #

• 17:40 @Trunks378 $25 for greasy fried fish and potatoes? That's criminal. #
• 17:43 Damn, now I want fish and chips for dinner. Broke till Midnight, though. Maybe I'll try the fish place on White Bear tomorrow. #
• 18:03 Time to write again... fuzzy head doesn't want to. >.< #
• 18:23 I'm all fidgety and ADD-ish, not focusing on writing at all. Got first part done, think I'll make food and return to it. #
• 23:11 I think I'm too tired to sleep... #

So... ah... is posting working right now? *pokes LJ*

Edit: Okay, that worked, now to get the other posts to work again.

• 08:14 @MossFox I've never had that problem, it actually runs better for me there than via downloads... #
• 10:18 @MYVBXRS Whoooooo! #
• 22:52 @MossFox Frequently it's just outrunning its buffer... I get it on all sites. I'm just in the habit of preloading anything of length. #
• 22:56 Barnes and Noble coupons kind of suck a lot compared to Borders coupons... Why can't Borders just carry the book I want to use coupons on? #

• 18:03 @funimation great to see vid. portal back, any word on new FMA? #
• 18:05 Dammit it is HOT here. D: Why do I live in a state with 155+ degree temperature swings from one part of the year to the next? #
• 19:23 @combatc122 I don't like either. I'd like a place that's mid-60s to low-70s year round. :D #
• 19:26 @Sockitumee Indeed it is, or was anyway before I went downstairs for dinner. #

• 15:51 @MYVBXRS I'm lol'ing outside. :D (also, I loved Animal Kingdom!) #
• 19:27 I just reached level 2. #spymaster bit.ly/playspy #
• 19:38 @Arenlor I won't send you any DMs about it, no worries. #
• 22:18 @MYVBXRS I never see any of those damn things... D: #

• 16:17 @queendork56 No second-guesses, you're awesome and I'm sure you did great! #
• 19:42 @queendork56 Congrats nonetheless! That's still an achievement! #

• 09:25 Looks like no rain till 3 today. Can probably wax leather and put garden back to normal... still crazy humid though. #
• 10:36 FDA notice is making me crave cookie dough... dammit. #
• 11:08 @funimation When will the portal and FMA 10 & 11 be available? #
• 18:49 It's official, I'm transitioning between projects. The doll blushing is D-O-N-E and she is back together... mostly. Still need headmagnets. #
• 20:52 Doll I've been working on is assembled and as finished as she will be: bit.ly/dnys5 #

I HATE YOU, DS BROWSER. I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU. WHEN I SAY "PRIVATE" I DON'T MEAN "PUBLIC" YOU STUPID LITTLE BLUE CARD.

Addendum: It looks like on top of fucking up the security settings, it fucked up the time settings, too, so MAYBE MAYBE MAYBE nothing showed up anywhere... *fingers crossed*

Not that it's, y'know, BAD or anything, but it's not something that's supposed to be public YET.

Fucking stupid blue card. Is the DSi this retarded? I'm about ready to throw this one out a fucking window.

• 08:46 Morning... -.- Slept decently well, at least, but I'm stiff and sleepy today. Better get to work, lots to do. #
• 08:52 Was really hoping to wax belt and lay out rugs today, but "severe threat" sounds like "Don't leave shit outside today" so I'll wait on that. #
• 10:39 I suppose I should run out and get more spray now, so I can seal this stuff before heavy rain hits... I just don't want to get dressed. #
• 11:31 @ShadowStaarr Way to go. #
• 11:31 Argh, Walmart no longer carries model paints... had to go down to Hub. Not that I mind paying local businesses, just didn't want to drive. #
• 15:08 Under a tornado watch for the next 8 hours... so much for a quiet summer, weather-wise. #
• 16:33 Watching video of this unmanned rocket being shot off.. #
• 16:34 View from the onboard camera is quite cool... mission is interesting, too. I'm curious to see the outcome of this. #
• 21:20 @queendork56 I have been told to tell you, House premiere = 2 hours of House/Wilson goodness. #
• 21:33 This is a totally amazing story that makes me want to cry. Pixar is an incredible company to do this. bit.ly/18uWiX #

So no one ever reads this journal, but...

CROSSPLAYERS! I'm interested at some point in the next couple of months putting in an order from this website located overseas. I would like to order a few things together to cut shipping, if possible. Anyone interested in adding an item or two, please let me know?

In the past three days I've made six posts (not counting this one, one, three and two respectively). Two are visible (not counting this one).

Sometimes it just flat amuses me how many posts I have in here that are for my eyes or limited eyes only...

So I finally stopped putting it off and went to the Chiropractor today... OW. I knew I was twisted up and messed up, but I didn't realize how bad it had gotten while I ignored it. He adjusted my pelvis, partially adjusted my back, and partially adjusted my neck. My neck feels worst, at the moment, the stiffness has migrated into a slightly lower pain that I'm icing (I was directed to ice both that and my lower back). My back still aches.

BUT! Much to my repeated surprise, I'm not limping! It actually kind of throws me off a bit every time I stand up, that my legs are balanced now. Apparently the pelvic twisting was bad enough that one leg was a half-inch shorter than the other, which was causing the limp I've had for a very very long time. I"ve been walking around, doing chores, tidying up, etc, and my steps are so wonderfully EVEN. :D

So, I get to go back for more adjustments to my back and neck Monday after work, just gotta make it till then with the ice. Hopefully those adjustments will knock out the remaining pain.

Some days, Firefox and Livejournal, some days I HATE you... -.-

(I hope I snagged that last entry in time. Nothing to see here, folks, just something that can't go public quite yet. I'll post it when it's okay to take it out from under wraps.)

Meme stolen from three different people... put music player on shuffle, take first line of twenty random songs, post as a poem. I'm skipping everything instrumental/not in English for this one. ^_^

On my way home, police car pulled me over
Don't you know
Oh the heads that turn
Death comes sweeping through the hallway like a lady's dress
I've lived upon the edge of chance for twenty years or more

There must be some kind of way out of here
With life just begun, my sleeping new son
I've informed you to leave
A certain shade of green
In this dirty old part of the city

To resist is to piss in the wind
News had drifted on the wind of many minds
Every night I go to sleep
Sometimes I feel like I don't have a partner
It's so much better when everyone is in

Now I've heard there was a secret chord
We all came out to Montreux
With Satan's hog no pig at all, and the weather getting dry
This is the good ship lifestyle
With your white arms wrapped around me

I will start with the statement that this is by no means the easiest post to write, but it's thoughts I've been having and would like to put down. I don't know if it will help me or not, I don't know if it will matter to anyone in the world, but I have to get it out.

It's Saturday right now. Monday morning at 530 or so in the morning is the three-year anniversary of my mother's passing. I'm doing better, little by little, but it's still hard, and around both her birthday and this time, it's the hardest. I've had random little breakdowns as I think about the fact that she's not here anymore, and as I think about how much I let things fall apart both before and after. I'm trying to pick up the pieces, little by little, and every time I think I've got them together, another chunk falls out and I have to patch up some other part of my life. But I'm getting there, and I'm still trying.

It helps a bit that my dad has found a way to be happy again. It was hard to see him at the funeral, and afterward. He's very fortunate to have found another love, and I know it's something my mother would approve of, because she foresaw it and approved of it before she left us. And that helps, too. I still see my mother sometimes in dreams, though not as much as I used to. With my brother and sister both away in the military, and living a bit of a drive away from my father, I don't see much of my family anymore, but I still go home to the house we all built together, and it's not as bad anymore. It's still hard for me to visit the grave, though, and I haven't been there in quite a while. I'm not quite sure if that's a good or a bad thing, or just a symbolic thing.

It helps that, after falling as low as I did, things have gone better for me for a while. I'm still working on it, and trying to hold on and improve my situation, but I've finally gotten back into a good job with benefits, I'm into a fairly good living situation for a change... There are still problems, but I'm working on it. I'm picking up the pieces each time they fall apart, and I'm trying. It's all I can really do.

I mentioned cosplay in the subject line for a reason, too. I've been going to conventions, but I haven't done much cosplay in the past three years. And I haven't really done the one cosplay I became best known for at all in that time, to the point that I can't find the majority of the pieces. I'm looking for them again. I started cosplaying as Ed because of the affinity I felt for the character, and the similarities I found. They drew me to him as a character, and the level of it made me want to do the costume, more strongly than any costume I've done before or since. But among all the other things that happened three years ago, and tore my life apart, was the aspect that suddenly and unhappily I became much too similar, in a way I never wanted to be. I shut it off, separated myself in large part from that identity, didn't use forums or accounts with the Hagane usernames, didn't want anything to do with those ideas for a while. Even cut out the fandom in general for a while. But as another year is passing and another is beginning, the hurt is fading, and I can return to that.

Part of the reason I want to return is that my mother was actually connected to the costume. She helped me buy the pieces, provided the watch, loved the idea I was doing it and having so much fun, and it seems a shame that I stopped. I did truly enjoy it, and that's why I'm taking the step of returning. From here on out, I'll only be doing the one character anymore, because I still can't quite afford the time and money to do multiple costumes, and with being in the Artist Alleys I can't do the competitions anymore like I liked to, but I still want to wear the existing costumes again (if I can find them), and I would like to make some new ones. In a strange way, it's another part of my healing process, to take something that was enjoyable, and then became painful, and make it enjoyable again. Yes, it may seem silly to assign importance in healing to a red coat and hair color, but to me, it is important, and hopefully I've come far enough that, when I wear the costume I've assembled from the pieces I've found next weekend, I'll be all right.

Little by little, things are getting better.